Career x Starting a Family

As I wrote this, it was 2am, and I was up with my 2-month-old, while my 2 year old lay next to me sound asleep, I contemplated my next steps in the second half of my career…

When I was in college, I remember going to see a psychic with a group of friends. I didn't go because I believed in such things but because it was fun, and I was curious -- college days!

I recall asking the psychic three questions:

· Will I be successful in my career?

· Will I get married and raise a family?

· And will I know who my husband would be?

You can guess from the order of these questions that my priority was building a career first, before family. The first question was because I was concerned whether I had made the right decision, having changed my major from accounting to computer information systems.

I was very keen on completing my undergraduate studies and getting a job in the field of information technology. The idea of marriage, though present, was on the back burner for me because I figured I had time and wanted to stay focused on my career.

Fast forward to my late 30's, I felt as though I’d reached a plateau in my career yet found a breath of life in starting a family. Starting a family has been by far the most rewarding for me, I never thought I would enjoy the title of mom over any career title.

The title comes with some balance. You see, I was already on the path to the top of my career, at the point when I decided to start a family. I was a top performer, on the "fast track" and looked upon as the next person in a senior leadership position in my organization.

It was at this juncture that I made a choice whether to keep climbing up the career ladder or to take a pause and start a family. Only then did I not realize I was taking a pause. I thought I would be able to keep up with climbing the career ladder all the while...

It took a conversation I had with a mentor for me to realize that I had made a choice without knowing; I chose the pause button. With the pause button, no one ever told me that I would always have a biting urge to get back in the game, to wonder how far you would have been if you hadn't hit the button. Yet for me, I know there's almost no accomplishment that is as satisfying as being a mom.

I have since given birth to two beautiful little girls, have a wonderful husband and I'm the stepmother of a courageous son.

I soon realized that with the appropriate work and life balance, I would find the path that does work for me, while starting a family while building a career. This is of course what makes you a complete person -- having a balanced life.

Some advice and tips I would give are:

Having a Family Does not Change You

That person you were before is still the same person you'll be after marriage; you'll just have more responsibilities. If you have the drive and determination before, then it will continue to be within you.

It's All About Time Management

Prioritization of your time is important. With careful planning and good time management, you will see yourself excel both at the family and on the work front.

Keep Your Mind and Network Open

This is self-explanatory. Having an open mind helps you to learn and you will put the effort into making things work. Ultimately, you can do whatever you put your mind to, to accomplish your goals.

I'm still learning as I go, and I do not have all the answers. My priorities change and I think of my family – my kids, first. Now that I have two girls of my own, I'm thinking of how I can guide them and what advice I would give them.

These days I hear of more and more women making the same choice in life -- career first, family second and later in life. I therefore wanted to share my story (though still in progress) to help a young woman who may be contemplating with the idea of whether it is too late to start a family in the middle of their career, or even thinking if it's worth it and asking the question “Will I be able to get where I was?" I say YES!

My advice to young women thinking about whether they can have a family, amid building your career- I say yes! With a little work and balance, of course #worklifeintergration.

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